It's My Birthday (Jokes Included)

I don’t know, but the years seem to be flying by. Each year seems to be getting shorter for some reason.
My hair is turning grey rather quickly these days, but I don’t mind the old salt and pepper look, so far anyway, who knows how I will feel about it by next year.

I have waist length hair, so it would be a nightmare to whack a bit of colour into it. I hate to think how many bottles it would take.
Today I am a year older.  I was born in Brisbane, which is the capitol of Queensland here in Australia, on February the 18th 1958, yep that makes me 54 (for those that are not good with maths) although if I don’t look in the mirror, I am a lot younger.

Some friends are putting on a barbeque for me tonight, so fun times ahead.

Sorry I haven’t got any new Birthday jokes up my sleeve; these have been around for awhile. If you have heard them before, I hope you still get a bit of a laugh out of them.

Fun Times.
A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?”
She said, “I’d love to be ten again.”

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then they were off to a movie theatre where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, “Actually, honey, I meant dress size!”

AI

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said that I needed an upgrade.

Birthday

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~ Bob Hope

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~ Jennifer Yane

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The Present

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said . ‘Just give me something with diamonds.’

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

Music Box

Andrew went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Every kin and kith was invited over that night, to celebrate her  birthday.

Andrew wanted something special for his wife, so he went to see some cute little music boxes.

A blue one was playing “Happy Birthday.” Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.

Later, at dinner, among the huge gathering, he gave the gift to his wife and asked her to open it. When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to “The Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used To Be!”

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