The Witch and The King (Weekend Joke)

I have posted this joke before, sorry I just run out of time this week to do up some jokes, I’m sure a lot of people have not seen this one and if you have I hope you enjoy refreshing your memory and still enjoy the joke. :)

The Witch and The King

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
 
The question?…What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.
 
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
 
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
 
But the price would be high, as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
 
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
 
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!
 
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
 
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
 
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.
 
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus:
 
What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.
 
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.
 
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
 
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
 The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
 
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day….or night?
 
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
 
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow her to make the choice herself.
 
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
 
Now….what is the moral to this story?
 
The moral is…..
 If you don’t let a woman have her own way….
 Things are going to get ugly !

Thank You Dawn for the joke.

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75 Responses to The Witch and The King (Weekend Joke)

  1. What a surprise to see this story, Mags. I love this story, and often tell “The Marriage of Sir Gawain and the Lady Ragnell” as a part of my storytelling programs.

  2. susielindau says:

    Oh the ending gave me shivers! I love it! Have a great weekend!

  3. jmgoyder says:

    I’ve never seen this before – wonderful and brrrrrr!

  4. This is very profound, Mags. It is more than just a joke. Let us hope that those who need to hear it are listening.

  5. El Guapo says:

    Never heard that one before. Loved it! And I’ll be retelling it.
    Thanks, Magsx2, and have a great weekend!

  6. Colline says:

    Love this one Mags – especially because I believe it is important that women and girls are free to make their own choices.

  7. Bliss says:

    Good one…if you posted it before I didn’t see it. I like it. : )

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Bliss,
      I posted it well over 12 months ago, so I was hoping not a lot of people at seen it, I’m glad you enjoyed it. :D
      Have a great weekend.

  8. Too funny! I’m going to reblog this! Thanks for visiting my sight, and the compliments for my flowers!

  9. Reblogged this on AllThingsBoys Blog and commented:
    Such a great story to end a Friday on. Guys out there, take note! Have a great weekend!

  10. BoJo Photo says:

    A great take on one of life’s greatest truths! :)

  11. I had NOT seen this before — great laugh — THANK YOU!

  12. Well, you just know I’m going to like this one, Mags! Cheers! :-)

  13. malc50 says:

    Havagoodweekend Mags!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      It is a great day to stay indoors today, we have had very heavy rain here that is just starting to ease off to showers, there is going to be a lot of umbrellas out there today as people start lining up to vote. :D
      You also have a great weekend.

  14. Beautiful joke!
    I’m impressed.
    It has a lot of mind-engaging/thought provoking concepts. What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life! And it goes further to test if the men would give the woman just that. I loved this story so much, I still do!

  15. Windsmoke. says:

    I’ve not come across this one before but it certainly rings true in my books :-).

  16. I really liked this! Have a great weekend Mags!

  17. lolabees says:

    It’s always good to share old posts because I (and I’m sure many others) don’t think I’ve seen this one before. Besides, sometimes we all need a quick break. Imagine if all women could have the powers to make ourselves ugly or pretty. We sure could have some fun with that!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi lolabees,
      Yes I got caught up with this new computer, trying to learn the new system and time got away as it usually does. :)
      It would be great if we could change like the witch, I agree a lot of fun. :D
      Have a great weekend.

  18. Indira says:

    This was new for me, a good one. I think this is for men also or rather for both.

  19. Hey this is not a joke …it may sound funny buts its true….let us have our way or else.. ;)
    loved it Mags :)
    Wish you a wonderful weekend

  20. lmao. .funny! i loved it!

  21. tempo says:

    i really liked this one and hadn’t seen it before…so the repost was a good choice

  22. Ha! The punch line caught me off guard and made me laugh. I loved it.

  23. jakesprinter says:

    This is great Mags looks different in your entry ,Lancelot is clever always :)

  24. aFrankAngle says:

    Count me in as one who never heard this one. Meanwhile, I will take the high road as protection from writing something stupid. ;) … Saturday morning greetings to Saturday night!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Frank,
      I’m happy to hear you hadn’t heard it before. :D
      Yes it’s nearly 11 pm here on Saturday Night, it’s raining and even cool, the blankets have come out of the cupboard. :)
      Enjoy your weekend.

  25. hotlyspiced says:

    That’s a great joke! Thanks for bringing a smile and a laugh to my weekend xx

  26. reb says:

    This was a really good one — I had not read it before. Not only funny, but also a bit of food for thought. Take it easy, and hope you’re enjoying both your weekend and your new comp.

  27. wolke205 says:

    Bwahahaaa I missed your jokes while I were offline :D

  28. Madhu says:

    Good one! Lancelot HAD to win! Thanks for the laugh :-)

  29. Doraz says:

    :) Keep the world laughing. Thanks. :) If you run out of jokes, you can try this other blog I have some stored on. You are welcomed to them. I found them over the years.
    http:laughwithdoraz.wordpress.com

    Have fun now. :)

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Doraz,
      There is no shortage of jokes just time. :D I have a new computer system that I am trying to learn more about it and set it all up the way I want and time just got away. :)
      I hope you have a great weekend.

  30. Arindam says:

    Hi Mags,
    I never read this one before in your blog. It’s a real good one. :) Have a wonderful weekend!

  31. Linda Vernon says:

    Haha! I think I’ll suggest that 37 read this! Ha! Have a great weekend! :)

  32. Randel says:

    At a costume jewelry store at the beach in Florida I ran into this sign: “If Mom-ma’s not happy, No one is happy.” Still true today.

  33. Lynn says:

    Is there any Lancelot out there?
    Urgently requiered for a witch.:)

  34. Tony McGurk says:

    A lovely story. And a hilarious Moral

  35. Selma says:

    Brilliantly told. I love the picture of the witch!!

  36. Old joke, yes, but excellent – and with a moral to boot!
    Thanks,
    Scott

  37. Pingback: Lance and Lake | merlinspielen

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