Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator. They follow his every move for months, and find out that every day at noon he goes outside and does his stretching exercises.
So the assassins set up shop right across the street, get all of their sights set, load the guns, and have everything ready to go.
Noon comes, no dictator… 10 minutes longer… no dictator.
One assassin turns to the other and says, “Gee, I hope nothing happened to him.”
A motorist driving by a ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.
“Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.”
The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. “Here,” he said, “is the check for $900. It is post-dated six years from now.”
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The Engineer said, “In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”