A couple decided to go to Cyprus for the weekend, but because they both worked it was hard to coordinate their diaries. So they decided the husband would go a day early, and his wife would join him the following day. On arriving, the husband thought he would email his wife from his laptop, but he accidentally mistyped her email address and sent it off without realising.
A widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been ‘called home to glory’ following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends, but instead found this:
To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I’ve Arrived!
I’ve just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. (P.S. Sure is hot down here!)
The End is Near
Farmers Fred and Luke were fishing on the side of the road. They made a sign saying “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!,” and showed it to each passing car.
One driver that passed didn’t appreciate the sign and shouted, “Leave us alone you religious nuts!”
All of a sudden they heard a big splash.
Fred grinned at Luke. “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says: ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”