The Cruise Ship.
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”
Old People’s Home.
Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people’s home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren’t getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom’s room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, “Did you see that? What in the hell were Nancy & Betty wearing?” “I don’t know, but whatever it was, it sure needed ironing.”
Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I heard it snoring!”