Bad Day – Tech Support (Weekend Jokes)

Really Bad Day.

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my  drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, whatcha gonna do  about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

“Come on,  man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can`t stand to see a  man crying.”

“This is the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a  complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I  went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have  any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old  lady in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me.”

“So I  came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a  drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve.  Then you, you jack-ass, show up and drink the whole thing! But enough  about me, how’s your day going?”

  Tech support. 

 Tech  support:    What kind of computer do you have? 
Customer:    A white one… 

Customer:    Hi, this is Maureen. I can’t get my diskette out. 
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button? 
Customer:  Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech  support:  That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note. 
Customer:  No , wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it  yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

Tech  support:   Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen. 
Customer:  Your left or my left?

Tech  support:   Good day. How may I help you?
Customer:    Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you  click on ‘start’  for me and…
Customer:  Listen  pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates. 

Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I  try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’.  I’ve even lifted the printer  and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

==============  =
Customer:  I  have problems printing in red…
Tech support:  Do you  have a color printer?
Customer:   Aaaah………………..thank you.

Tech  support:   What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer:    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies. 

Customer:    My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:   Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer:   No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support:   Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. 
Customer:!   OK
Tech support: Did  the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech  support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there  another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there’s another one  here. Ah…that one does work…

Tech  support:    Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital  letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:  Is that  7 in capital letters ?

Customer:   Can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you  sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I’m  sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you  tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars. 

Tech  support:    What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Netscape. 
Tech  support:   That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh,  sorry…Internet Explorer.

Customer:    I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on  my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. 
Tech  support:   How may I help you?
Customer:  I’m writing my  first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to  be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter ‘a’  in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
A woman  customer called the help desk with a problem with her printer. 
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows? 
Customer:  ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a  window, and his  printer is working fine.’
Tech  support: ‘Okay  Colin, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That  brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter  ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer:  I don’t  have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Colin. 
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support:   ‘P’…..on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:   I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Thank You for the above jokes Peter M.

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12 Responses to Bad Day – Tech Support (Weekend Jokes)

  1. Pingback: Bad Day – Tech Support (Weekend Jokes) | Magsx2's Blog | Computer Help

  2. lenadlm says:

    Ha ha ha, gr8 post!! Lol

  3. Spiral says:

    Tech Smust be tedious sometimes. I bet they have a lot of customer stories to exchange!

  4. Spiral says:

    Ugh! hate my keyboard that’s supposed to begin “Tech Support must…”

  5. malc50 says:

    🙂 Thanks Magsx2. Went to Dairy Farmers Stadium last night. Your boys (Brisbane Roar) were too good – thrashed us (North Queensland Fury) two – nil. Al least we beat Sydney FC the game before that.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi malc50,
      Sorry to hear you didn’t have a win last night, but seeing as how you won the night before it must of been someone elses turn, you can’t win all the time. 🙂

  6. travelrat says:

    Hey, when they fix it so you press the ‘Start’ button to shut down your computer, what do they expect?

    But, I heard about a software firm who changed their instructions, because so many of their customers couldn’t find the ‘Any’ key

    And, the guy who thought his CD holder was somewhere to put his coffee mug.

    The blonde in the typing pool with Tippex all over her computer screen is probably an urban myth. 😀

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi travelrat,
      Loved the “Any” key, I can see that happening. The coffee mug, that is a good one, they must of thought it was like the ones that some cars have. Some urban myths do have some Truth in them I hear. 🙂

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