Merry Christmas ( Xmas Jokes)


 I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Xmas and a New Year filled with your Hopes and Dreams. I would also like to Thank Everyone for their support since I started this blog in July 2010, and also for the wonderful comments. Please everyone, stay safe over the Xmas break. I won’t be blogging for a couple of days, but will  blogging on and off during the Xmas break. Hope you enjoy the Xmas Jokes and video.

Christmas Fable

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be’

Unable to decide, Nathan entered the store and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, ‘How about some perfume?’  She showed him a bottle costing $150

‘Too expensive,’ muttered Nathan.

The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for $50.  ‘Oh dear,’ Nathan groused, ‘still far too much.’

Growing rather annoyed at Nathan’s meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny $10 bottle and offered it to him. Nathan became really agitated, ‘What I mean’, he whined, ‘is I’d like to see something really cheap.’

So the sales girl handed him a mirror.


Christmas Spirit

It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, ‘What are you charged with?’

The prisoner replied, ‘Doing my Christmas shopping too early.’

‘That’s no crime’, said the magistrate. ‘Just how early were you doing this shopping?’

‘Before the shop opened’, answered the prisoner.

 Christmas Present

Pete bought his wife, Thelma, a beautiful diamond ring as her Christmas present.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, John, his friend, commented, ‘I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.’

‘Oh, Thelma did, Pete replied, ‘But where on earth was I going to find a fake Jeep?’

*Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
 
*Christmas is just plain weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks?

*Bernard Manning said that the three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season are:
Peace on Earth.
Goodwill to Men.
And Batteries not included.

 

An Australian Xmas Carol by Ralf Harris, sorry you’ll have to watch
the video on YouTube. Some people from other Countries will be
be able to see it on here. Something to do with the copyright of
the music.

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12 Responses to Merry Christmas ( Xmas Jokes)

  1. Herbert Friedrich Witzel says:

    I needed three seconds to understand it, but your christmas fable is a fabulous joke. Wish you good holidays and a happy new year.
    Lagerix

  2. malc50 says:

    Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year to you and yours, magsx2. It will be a wet one in the North, with a tropical low expected to drop 400 mm of rain on us tomorrow, accompanied by some wind (but not expected to develop into a cyclone).

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi malc50,
      Merry Xmas to you and your Family as well, and hoping you’ll have a great New Year.
      Yes I was reading about all the rain that is expected up north tomorrow (Xmas Day in Australia) I hope it doesn’t worry you too much. We have rain here in Brissie at the moment, with a fair bit of wind, but the rain is only light. We are also expecting rain and storms here on Xmas Day, they tell us. But we won’t be on the road so it will not worry us too much, as long as the storms are not dangerous ones like we have been having the last week or so.

      If you are driving tomorrow, be careful on the roads, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

  3. Have a safe holiday season. Don’t drive in the rain 🙂

  4. buzfairy says:

    Merry Christmas my dear Australian friend, wishing you and the family a festive holiday 🙂

  5. swamibu says:

    Nice set of seasonal jokes 🙂

  6. Kymbo says:

    ..and here you are again..I knew I’d seen your name somewhere else.. Spirals Blog http://mymandorla.wordpress.com/ …and of course this is my other blog http://tempo11.blogspot.com/ ..small world eh?!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Kymbo,
      Fancy that, it is a small world, you would never believe it with all the blogs that are around, I mean what are the chances.
      Thanks for visiting and your comment.

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