Blondes (Weekend Jokes)

Blonde Builders

Two blonde builders were working on a house. One blonde was on a ladder nailing.

She’d reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

The other blonde couldn’t stand it any longer and yelled up, “Why are you throwing some of the nails away?”

The first blonde explained, “When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it’s pointed toward me I throw it away. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I can use it!”

The second blonde got real excited and called her all kinds of names, explaining, “Don’t throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They’re for the other side of the house!!”

Blonde

How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle?
Shine a torch in her ear.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette ?
A: Artificial intelligence.

 

 The Bet

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!”

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The blonde said, “No. A bet’s a bet.”

So the redhead said, “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

The blonde replied, “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!”

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8 Responses to Blondes (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    Good ones, magsx2. Go to http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/article/2011/01/29/203605_news.html for some real-life stories. These Townsville crims must be blonde! Havagoodweekend. It’s all cyclone preparations in the North at the moment, with Anthony (category 3) expected in a day or two and Yasi (4 or 5) a few days later.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi malc50,
      From the article in the paper:-
      “A teenager who allegedly stole a bottle of alcohol from a Mount Stuart bottle shop did not make it too hard for police to catch him – he left his name and contact details after leaving his details on a competition entry form before leaving.”.
      That is hilarious, it makes you wonder. 😆
      Yes I saw the cyclone warnings on bom not looking good at all.
      http://www.bom.gov.au/cyclone/
      Knowing the people of North Queensland, they are starting to board up just in case, I hope it doesn’t come to land, but I think that’s wishful thinking.

  2. Bluey says:

    I enjoyed your blonde jokes, 2 of which I haven’t seen before, I always read your weekend jokes even though I haven’t commented before, keep them coming. 🙂

  3. Windsmoke. says:

    I’ve got plenty of blonde jokes on my blog drop by and have a laugh. I laughed at the Blondes and the nails that’s a classic :-).

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Windsmoke,
      I would love to drop by your blog, but you forgot to leave me a link, when you sign in put your blog link in the URL that way it will automatically go on your name, and anyone who wishes to can just click onto your name and visit.

      I agree you get a bit of a laugh out of the blonde builders.

  4. travelrat says:

    We have a very good quiz show called ‘The Chase’ … and, the other day, it was won by an Irish blonde! Which kind of does away with those stereotypes.

    But, I heard a cracker from my (blonde!!) daughter the other day:

    ‘What do you call a blonde with more than ten brain cells?’
    ‘Pregnant’

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi travelrat,
      That does do away witht the sterotypes doesn’t it, sort of spoils it all in a way. 🙂
      Oh, I like that one, it’s also kind of smart as well when you think about it.

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