Valentines Day Jokes.

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, Hoping to meet the Valentine of his dreams, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered and thought maybe just maybe, so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, “I’ll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $10 but on one condition.”

The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance, “What’s your condition?”

Phil answered, “Tell me your wish in just three words.”

There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, “Clean my house.”

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes .
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day.

“Yes,” came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.”

“That was very kind of you,” Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.”

Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”

My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed’, guess who’ ?
A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.

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7 Responses to Valentines Day Jokes.

  1. malc50 says:

    🙂 Happy Valentine’s Day on Monday, Mags!

  2. Pingback: World Spinner

  3. kymbo says:

    Great funnies Mags…

  4. travelrat says:

    I think the best one of all was the card shop offering a ‘2 for the price of 1’ deal on Valentine cards!

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