Police/Cold/Miss Bea (Weekend Jokes)

Stopped by the Police.

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. And is asked where
He is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the
Effects it has on the human body”.

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of

The man replies, “My wife”.

Thank You Glen for the joke.

How Cold was it this Morning?

Thank You Melissa for the joke.

Miss Bea.

Miss Bea was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring. She welcomed him into her Victorian parlor, and invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.

 As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. It was filled with water, and floating on top – of all things – a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise.  Imagine his curiosity! Surely, Miss Bea had flipped or something. But he certainly couldn’t mention the strange sight in her parlor.
 When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him. He could resist no longer.

 “Miss Bea,” he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” (pointing to the bowl).
 “Oh yes,” she replied, “isn’t it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know…I haven’t had a cold all winter.”

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7 Responses to Police/Cold/Miss Bea (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    🙂 Have a good weekend, Mags!

  2. gregoryno6 says:

    Miss Bea! What a sweet innocent old soul!

  3. Pingback: Fish Hooks- Doggonit | Taking care of your pet

  4. travelrat says:

    Miss Bea exists! (True story!)

    My friend, a vet, was called out to look at an old lady’s cat, which seemed a bit off colour. It took two seconds for the vet to work out the ‘problem’.

    ‘This cat is pregnant!’ he announced.

    ‘She can’t be!’ said the old lady ‘She never goes out of the house or the garden, and she’s never … er … been with a gentleman cat in her life!’

    Just then, a tom stalked in from the kitchen.

    ‘What about him, then?’

    ‘O, no! It couldn’t be! He’s her brother!’

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