Clumsy/The Frog (Weekend Jokes)

Clumsy – True Story?

PERTH – An SAS trooper collecting toys for children was stabbed when he helped stop a suspected shoplifter in east Perth.

The Store Manager told ‘The Paper’ that man was seen on surveillance cameras last Friday putting a laptop under his jacket at the store.

When confronted, the man became irate, knocked down an employee, pulled a knife and ran toward the door.
Outside were four SAS Troopers collecting toys for the “Toys For Tots” program.

The store Manager said the Troopers stopped the man, but he stabbed one of them, in the back with a 10″ carving knife. Fortunately, the cut did not appear to be severe and required only a band aid.

The suspect was transported by ambulance to the Royal Perth Hospital with two broken arms, a broken leg, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions and assorted lacerations including a broken nose and jaw…
Injuries he apparently sustained when he tripped whilst trying to run after the stabbing.

THE CLUMSY BASTARD !!!

Thankyou Glen for the joke/true story.

The Frog.

Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in a lake all by himself.  He had been given special powers by a local witch.

One day he finally ventured out of the lake to get his first glimpse of the world outside.

The first thing he saw was a bear chasing a rabbit and so he called out to them and asked them to stop. Then he said to them, “I am a magical frog and since you are the first two animals I have ever seen, I am going to grant you both three wishes. You will each take turns using them and you have to use them now.”

The bear (being greedy) went first. I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me.”
A magical sound and it was done.

Then the rabbit. “I would like a helmet.”

This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there was a helmet.

It was the bear’s turn again. “I would like for every bear in the neighboring forest to be female.”
A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit went again. “I would like a motorcycle.”

Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn’t just ask for a lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle, but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle.

The bear took his last wish. “I would like for all the bears in the world to be female except for me.”
A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, said “I wish the bear was gay!” and took off like a bat out of hell!

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4 Responses to Clumsy/The Frog (Weekend Jokes)

  1. travelrat says:

    Hmmm!

    There was the time (many years ago) I tackled a bag snatcher. Maybe I was a little bit rougher than I should have been, but the policeman who took my statement listened, and said:

    ‘That’s NOT what happened! You saw him grab the lady’s bag, called on him to stop, and he tripped over a loose paving stone …. ‘

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi travelrat,
      It really goes to show how ridiculous some of the laws are I think, they sometimes seem to protect the criminal more these days I feel.

  2. Sue says:

    That is brilliant, loved both of those, and the first one does sound like the real thing. I also enjoyed reading your comment too travelrat. 🙂

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