An old man
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow.
The old man just stared at him.
The young man said sarcastically,” what’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?”
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot.”
I was just wondering if you are my son.”
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?” The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, “No.”
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.
One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter’s wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”
“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.
“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. “You cheat! That is an untruth!”
The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said ‘no’ to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say ‘no’ to her, You will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say ‘yes,’ and then all three will be given to me.
But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so that’s why I said yes this time.”
The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is for an honorable and useful reason.