Turkey/Examination/Parrot (Weekend Jokes)

The Turkey

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”

“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Examination.

A doctor finishes his examination of a woman, takes the husband aside and says, “I don’t like the look of your wife at all.”

”Me neither doc,” replies the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.”

 

The Parrot.

A woman gets up, puts up the shade, takes the cover off the parrot’s cage, makes coffee, and smokes a cigarette. Suddenly the phone rings – her boyfriend saying he’s coming over.
She snubs out the cigarette, pulls down the shade, unplugs the coffee pot, puts the cover back on the parrot’s cage, and gets back into bed.
From under cover, the parrot mutters, “Well that was a short f’n day!”

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Jokes and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Turkey/Examination/Parrot (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    🙂 Havagoodweekend Mags!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s