Happy Easter (Jokes)

It’s Good Friday here in OZ , so I’d like to take this chance to wish everyone a Happy Easter, and for those that are going away for the long weekend, I wish you all a safe and happy journey, and for those that are staying home for Easter (like myself) I hope you also have a great time over the Easter break.

Word of warning, don’t eat all the chocolate goodies at once, try to spread them out over a period of time, I know this is hard, especially if your a chocoholic like me. 🙂 Why is it that around this time of year, (other times too if I’m honest) that the chocolate just seems to disappear out of the fridge?

Easter Jokes.

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?”

The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful.”

“Wrong!,” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, “What is Easter?”

The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde. He asks, “What is Easter?”

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”

“Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously.

“Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.”

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out… and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.

 Q.  Where does Valentine’s Day comes after Easter?
A.   In the dictionary.

Q.  What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?
A.   Hot, cross bunnies.

Q.  How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
A.  One. After that the basket won’t be empty.

Q.  What’s red, pink and blue with yellow all over?
A.  An Easter egg rolling down the hill.

 A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?”
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came back to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman: “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?”

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:
“Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”

 

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10 Responses to Happy Easter (Jokes)

  1. Happy Easter to you as well! My son and I loved reading these jokes.

  2. malc50 says:

    Have a Happy Easter, Mags! I particularly liked the Hair/Hare Restorer. Cheers.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      Thank You, and I hope you are going to have at least some of Easter to relax a bit. You have been working too hard I feel, so I hope you have a nice relaxing Easter with Family and Friends, and don’t forget to enjoy yourself. 🙂

  3. EternalForms says:

    HAHA! Those were good. Thank you for the laugh and the well wishes. Please have a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend yourself!

  4. Selma says:

    Brilliant jokes. LOLZ. Have a wonderful Easter, Mags!

  5. Selma says:

    Oh wait. I’ve got one for you….
    Who is the Easter Bunny’s favourite actor?
    Rabbit De Niro
    *snort*

  6. Pingback: Happy Easter 2012 (Jokes) | Magsx2's Blog

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