Bar/Flies/Suntan (Weekend Jokes)

Bikers Bar

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: “I went by your grandma’s house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!”

The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says: “I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!”
The biker’s buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, “I’ll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!”

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says,
“Grandpa,……. Go home, you’re drunk.

Flies

Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Hunting Flies” He responded.
“Oh. Killing any?” She asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

Suntan

Sheila wants an all over suntan but is not quite sure how to go about it so she says to Bruce,” you reckon I should go sunbathing in the nuddy in the backyard?”
Yeah, no worries, says Bruce, go for it.
But what if the neighbours see me naked, what will they think?
Bruce: that I married you for your money…..

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6 Responses to Bar/Flies/Suntan (Weekend Jokes)

  1. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Haha! These made me laugh – hope your weekend is as good as you’ve made mine!!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Red Nomad OZ,
      What a lovely surprise, Thank you for visiting me over here at Word Press.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the jokes. I’m having a busy but great weekend, I will come over and check out your latest travels, and see what new wonders you have discovered.

  2. travelrat says:

    Biker walked into a diner, and sat down next to a little truck driver who was just about to eat. First, he grabbed the truck-driver’s pie and ate it, then he drank the truck driver’s coffee.

    The truck driver didn’t say a word, just stood up and walked out. and got into his 18-wheeler.

    ‘He’s not much of a man!’ sneered the biker.
    ‘He’s not much of a driver, either’ said the waiter ‘He ran over a motor bike on his way out of the car park!’

    (I know a nude sunbather joke, too, but it’s not really appropriate for here) 😀

  3. I never thought of it that way, well put!

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