A traffic cop stopped a car for erratic driving and ordered the driver to undergo an alcohol contents test. The driver obeyed, and the device showed an excessive level of alcohol.
“You device is out of order,” the driver said. “My wife doesn’t drink at all. Try it on her.”
The cop agreed, but the device showed alcohol presence in the wife’s blood as well.
“You see?” the driver said. “It’s a bad device.”
“No, just your wife is drunk as well,” the cop insisted.
“Then try on my kid, he certainly doesn’t drink.”
The couple produced a sleeping child, woke him, and made him go through the alcohol test. Again, the device showed high level of alcohol in blood.
“D’you see now?” the driver said. “Bad device.’
The cop apologized and let the car through.
As they drove away, the husband said with a glee,
“Ha! And you kept saying ‘Don’t give the kid alcohol!!!
A man was driving through an intersection when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture had just been taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot again, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area another time, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He even tried this a fourth time with the exact same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail’s pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic citations in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
The local priest returns to his car to find an Officer in the process of giving him a parking ticket.
Priest: “Hello there, you couldn’t see you’re way clear to forgetting about that could you, my son.”
Officer: “Sorry, farther, once I’ve started filling the form in I’ve got to finish”
Priest: “That’s OK. It’s my fault. I parked in the wrong place.”
Officer: “That’s very good of you, we usually get all kinds of abuse in these circumstances.”
Priest: “Wouldn’t here of such a thing, after all it was my fault. We’re having a tea party this weekend would you like to come?”
Officer: “Well, that is good of you, farther. Yes, I’ll be there. It’s so refreshing to talk to someone who understands the position I’m in.”
Priest: “Maybe you would like to bring you’re mother and farther along, as well, and I could marry them!”