Pilot/Interview (Weekend Jokes)

The Woman Marine Pilot
 
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:  Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.  The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
 
There were all the regular types of stuff:  Spilled milk and pennies saved.  But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
 
“Janie, do you have a story to share?” 
 
“Yes ma’am.  My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.  She was a Marine pilot, and her plane got hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
 
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”
 
”Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher.  What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”
 
“Don’t **** with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”

Thank You John for the joke.

Irish Interview

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.
 
A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar experience and qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
 
The manager went to Murphy and said, “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the Norwegian the job.”

Murphy, “And whoy would ya be doing dat?  We both got 19 questions roight. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get da job.”

Manager, “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”

Murphy, “And just how would one incorrect answer be better dan anodda?”

Manager, “Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, ‘I don’t know’.  You wrote, ‘Neither do I”.

Thank You John for the joke.

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7 Responses to Pilot/Interview (Weekend Jokes)

  1. travelrat says:

    Paddy and Mike were sent down to the Forestry Commission by the Labour Exchange. The following morning, they were back at the Labour Exchange.

    ‘Didn’t the Forestry Commission have anything for you?’ they were asked.

    ‘Sure, there was a sign outside saying ‘Tree Fellers Wanted’. An’ wasn’t there jist the two of us?’

  2. malc50 says:

    🙂 Thanks for putting a smile on our faces (even on Judgement Day!) Cheers.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      Oh yes the Rapture starts today, but it’s not the 21st in other parts of the world, so it looks like it’s our turn first. 😆

  3. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Haha, both a great laugh!! Maybe our rapture will start once it’s the 21st everywhere??!! Guess that means we’ll have more of the weekend to enjoy …

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Red Nomad OZ,
      It’s good to know you had a bit of a laugh and enjoyed the jokes. You maybe right, that would give us the extra time. 🙂

  4. Pingback: Aunt Karen! | YOU DECIDE

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