Is Sex Work?/Nigel (Weekend Jokes)

 Is Sex Work?

A Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?”

A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.

A lieutenant said it was 50-50%.

A midshipman responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the captain turned to the  Able Seaman  who was in charge of making the coffee.

What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, young seaman Smith responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”

The captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

“Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”

The room fell silent.

Thank You Glen for the joke.

Nigel, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time.

Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.  But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “older Person Friendly” policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.  “Nigel, I have to tell you, I like your work
ethic, you do a bang-up job, but you’re being late so often is quite bothersome.”  “Yes, I know
boss, and I am working on it.”  “Well good, you are a team player.  That’s what I like to hear.

It’s odd though your coming in late.  I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?”

“They said, ‘Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?’ “

Thank You Dee for the joke.

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12 Responses to Is Sex Work?/Nigel (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    🙂 Havagoodweekend Mags.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      Thank You, you also enjoy your weekend, and have some fun. 🙂

      • malc50 says:

        Yes Mags, Marking 4th year B.Ed. assignments is great fun! (If only there were not so many of them.) Cheers.

        • magsx2 says:

          Hi Mal,
          I knew it, I had a feeling you would be working even on the weekend, that’s why I said have some fun, hopefully next weekend you can put a bit of time aside and enjoy at least one day of the weekend, and HAVE SOME FUN. 🙂

  2. Gregoryno6 says:

    Very good, both of them.

  3. travelrat says:

    I thought of the one about the very experienced Navy Captain:

    Whenever danger, trouble or difficulty threatened, he would take a little black, leather-bound book out of his pocket, and read what was written therein before giving his orders … invariably the right ones.

    His First Lieutenant, who had been with him for many years, wondered what words of nautical wisdom were written in that book. He often asked the Captain, but he would never tell him.

    Then, one day, the Captain retired. He gathered his officers in the wardroom for a final drink, and turned to the First Lieutenant.

    ‘Well, Number One! The ship is yours, now! Look after her!’

    The Lieutenant said he would try his best, and hoped he would be as good a Captain as the ‘Old Man’ had been. Once more, he asked what was in the book, so that he might do the job even better, but the Captain refused to tell him.

    ‘It’s personal! I’ll never reveal what’s written in my book’

    The evening wore on, and the Captain got somewhat inebriated, and the First Lieutenant had to help him back to his cabin. As he lifted him on to the bunk, the book fell out of his pocket.

    ‘Now, to see what inspiring words are written in here!’ he thought.

    But, he found it completely blank, apart from the first page, on which was written:

    ‘Port left; starboard right’

  4. travelrat says:

    The first one also reminded me:

    In the Royal Air Force, all pilots are officers. It wasn’t always this way; there used also to be non-commissioned pilots. They sort of petered out around 1975, since when, we’ve had a saying:

    ‘When flying was difficult and dangerous, they made Sergeants do it!’

  5. Rebekah says:

    Thanks for the chuckles 🙂 These were funny!

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