Billy-Bob/Planking/The Offering (Weekend Jokes)

One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots. The sheriff says “Billy-Bob, what the heck are you doing walking around town dressed like that?”

Billy-Bob replies “Well, Sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a-cuddlin’.  Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did.  Inside the barn we started a kissing and a-cuddlin’ some more and things got pretty hot and heavy. Well, then Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. So, I took off all my clothes except my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay herself on the hay and said, ‘Okay Billy-Bob, let’s go to town!’… I guess I’m the first one here.”

Dog Planking.

Thank You Pam for the picture.

The Offering.
One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated.
“Why yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church.”

The pastor replied, “That’s wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot of money. Are you sure you can afford this?”

The elderly woman answered, “Oh, yes!  He sends me $10,000 a week.”

The pastor was amazed. “Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?”

“He is a veterinarian,” she answered.

“That’s an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money,” the pastor said. “Where does he practice?”

The woman answered proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno.”

Thank You for the joke John.

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10 Responses to Billy-Bob/Planking/The Offering (Weekend Jokes)

  1. travelrat says:

    Of course, in jokes, ‘men of the cloth’ are pretty naive about these things (they aren’t really!) so he may not have been familiar with the expression.

    Kind of reminds me of the time a group of us were walking through a village near here called Oare (this being Wiltshire, it’s probably pronounced ‘Ooo-arrh!) A car pulled up, and a chrubic little man in a dog-collar asked could you tell me the way to Oare House?

    Janet, who is a little hard of hearing, damn’ nearly fainted!

  2. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Hahaha! Like all of them – but the dog planking shot is superb!!

    Have a great weekend!!

  3. gregoryno6 says:

    Sweet innocent old mum.

  4. Rebekah says:

    They were very funny! I love these type of jokes 😀

  5. kymbo says:

    Lots of great funnies from you again Mags. great laughs

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