The Motorcycle/Lipstick (Weekend Jokes)

The Motorcycle
An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.

“Where did you get such a functional bike?” asked the first.

The second engineer replied: “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, spread her arms wide and said: “Take what you want.”

The second engineer nodded approvingly: “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.


Lipstick
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

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12 Responses to The Motorcycle/Lipstick (Weekend Jokes)

  1. Rebekah says:

    ROFL …especially at the last one! 🙂

  2. barb19 says:

    I loved the last one about the lipstick!

  3. malc50 says:

    🙂 Havagoodweekend Mags. (Loved the engineerimg students’ joke!) Cheers, Mal

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      Thank You, looks like the sun is going to stay out this week-end up your way as well as here, although it is freezing here in Brisbane, nice if you can manage to get out of the wind. 🙂

      • malc50 says:

        Hi Mags, I’m at Brisbane Airport at the moment, waiting for a flight back to Townsville. It’s a glorious day. Frost on the ground in Killarney when I got up this morning. Good trip back to Brisbane in the hire car, though we were held up along Cunningham’s Gap by the road works. Went to see my mother for her 85th birthday. Better than last trip down this way, when we were delayed a few days by the floods. Cheers, Mal.

        • magsx2 says:

          Hi Mal,
          Oh yes it would of been a 100% better than your last trip, that was incredible last time with all the flood waters blocking everything, and a lot of people stuck where ever they happened to be.
          How wonderful 85 years young, I bet your Mum was really happy to see you.
          The wind here in Brisbane has been really cold today, but nice if you can be in the sun out of the wind.
          Have a good flight back Mal, at least it will be warm on the plane.

  4. dearrosie says:

    I needed a good laugh. Thanks Mags. Also liked the last one. heh heh

  5. souldipper says:

    Our High School Custodian LOVED this one! And my female biker friend is going to love the first one.

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