Banks (Weekend Jokes)

Irish Bank Holdup.
An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber’s face.

The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him, and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him in the head also.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
Did anyone else see my face?’ asks the robber?

There is a few moments of silence, when one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says:

“I think me wife may have caught a glimpse.”

  • What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons? The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.
  • What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common? They both have frozen assets.

A robber entered a bank and gave a teller a note demanding cash. After his demand was honoured, he fled. Upon returning home, he was amazed to find the police waiting for him.  It appears he had written the note on the back of his bank deposit slip.

Bad Advice
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!”
“I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad.

“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”

“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” he said. “there must be some mistake.”

“I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”

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12 Responses to Banks (Weekend Jokes)

  1. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Oh, my. How embarrassing. Fortunately, it was all caught on tape, to be played over and over again as a reminder and a lesson.

  2. Rebekah says:

    Funny jokes, as usual 🙂 Always appreciate a good laugh … That little video was hilarious!

  3. kymbo says:

    Great jokes but the funniest was the keystone cops…

  4. starzyia says:

    the stupidity is unbelievable!

  5. travelrat says:

    There’s a true story about a masked man who robbed a building society … who was still wearing his ID tag from work!

  6. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Thanx for the great laugh – but it’s a damn shame I can never recall the punchlines when I want to! Perhaps I’ll just direct people to your blog instead …

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Red Nomad OZ,
      It’s always the way isn’t it. You hear a good joke and can’t remember the punchline, and it’s usually always when you and friends are enjoying yourselves, and then when everyone leaves it suddenly comes to you. I know the feeling well. 😀
      I will never so no to new readers, all the better if I manage to give someone a bit of a laugh. 😛

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