Driving (Weekend Jokes)

Drivers License

When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”

The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, “It’s okay. That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”

  • Confucious says:
    Man who drives like hell bound to get there.
  • Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • Two blondes were observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:Blonde #1 said, “I can`t seem to get this door unlocked!”Blonde #2 replied, “Well, you`d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!”

Father and Son Deal

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, “I`ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.” A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said, “Son, I`m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you`ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn`t get hair cut!”

The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I`ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”

His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”

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12 Responses to Driving (Weekend Jokes)

  1. kymbo says:

    As always these are a great selection of jokes Mags..it’s nice to start the day with a smile..

  2. travelrat says:

    The driving licence one reminds me of the time I met a friend in a loooong queue at the Post Office.

    Me: Hi, Rob! Long time no see! Nearly didn’t recognise you with the beard. How long have you had it?

    Rob: I didn’t have it when I joined this queue!

    (Moral: Don’t buy stamps on Pension Day!)

  3. dearrosie says:

    I’m glad that even though you’re busy with jury duty you managed to find some jokes for us.

  4. gregoryno6 says:

    Game set and match to Dad.

  5. souldipper says:

    Have a great weekend, Mags! 😀

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