Car/Airplane (Weekend Jokes)

Car Privileges

The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.

At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late, Dad.” she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, “Then, my precious one, I`ll have to talk with the paperboy he put my paper under the front tyre of the car.”

  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Airplane

Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager.

The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane.

The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn’t survive.

The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him.

The pilot says to the punk “There’s only one parachute left, I’ll fight you for it.”

“That won’t be necessary,” said the punk, “The smartest man in the world took my backpack.”

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10 Responses to Car/Airplane (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    🙂 Thanks Mags.

  2. travelrat says:

    Excellent!

  3. kymbo says:

    Thanks for the laugh Mags

  4. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Hahaha! Love the parachute one!! And I’ll have to start practising diplomat-speak!!!

  5. dearrosie says:

    I needed a good laugh. Thanks

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