Elephant/Hospital (Weekend Jokes)

The Elephant

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.

While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with His hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face,stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen –thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail.

The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it’s front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant.

After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

Hospital Waiting

Two patients limp into two different Medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The first patient sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn’t reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.

The second patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Senior Citizen.

The second is a Golden Retriever.

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8 Responses to Elephant/Hospital (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    Thanks Mags, Was the elephant story an example of a “paraprosdokian”? If, like me, you hadn’t come across this word before, please read Sue-Belinda at http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/article/2011/05/02/227571_sue-belinda.html Cheers, Mal.

  2. travelrat says:

    Not another elephant joke!

    How about this one?

    An elephant walks into a bar, and asks for a pint of bitter.

    That’ll be five pounds, please said the barman

    After a few minutes, the elephant asked the barman what he was staring at. You must excuse me, he said, but we don’t get many elephants in here. The elephant said:

    ‘I’m not bloody surprised, at a fiver a pint!’

  3. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Haha to both! I’ve heard a similar comparison to the second one – but between senior citizens and prisoners!! Funny – but sad!

  4. dearrosie says:

    Thanks for the laugh – but I’m also crying because our medical system is in so much trouble and no one’s going to be able to pull it out…

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