Thanksgiving (Weekend Jokes)

Turkey With Six Legs!
A poultry farmer was experimenting to breed turkeys with more legs for greater profits. Finally, he succeeded. While narrating the results to his friends, he told them, “The turkey I bred had six legs!”
His friends who had got quite excited, eagerly asked, “What about the taste?”
The father said with a long-drawn face, “Do you think it is so easy to catch it?”

Hockey Team
The hockey team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.” “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

  • Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”
    little Timothy wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
  • What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
    “Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.”
  • Q: What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
    A: Turkey feathers.

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

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30 Responses to Thanksgiving (Weekend Jokes)

  1. malc50 says:

    Enjoy your weekend, Mags! Cheers.

  2. El Guapo says:

    Funny stuff.
    Love the last joke!

  3. HolEssence says:

    I especially loved the last one 🙂

  4. dearrosie says:

    I needed to laugh and you didn’t disappoint. Thanks.

  5. Selma says:

    I love the joke about the turkey with 6 legs – that’s a classic. Thanks for the giggle 😆

  6. Kymbo says:

    Hahaha, love that last one especially, thanks for the great jokes Mags

  7. travelrat says:

    The first one makes me think of an old man who saw his daughter buy a packet of fish fingers, and asked if they were breeding fish with fingers!

    (and, in the supermarket the other day, I saw ‘buffalo wings’ … bird-poop is bad enough, but imagine if buffalo could fly! ;D)

    • When I was in Primary School, a very, very, long time ago (in fact, I feel that I should be starting this with “once upon a time…”) we used to repeat a little poem:

      “A little birdie flying high,
      Dropped a message from the sky
      And, as I wiped it from my eye,
      I thanked the Lord that cows don’t fly.”

      I hasten to add that this poem had nothing to do with the school’s curriculum; it was a playground thing.

  8. E.C. says:

    lol Thanks for sharing these funny’s in honor of Turkey day. I hope the rest of your weekend is filled with smiles and good fun. 🙂

  9. Absolutely loved the last one! Another pros-thingummy. (I’ve already forgotten that word that we all talked about so much. I’m pretty sure that there was a “k” in it sonewhere.)

  10. Gotta love the creativity of the last joke. Those parents win MY vote!!

    Now that Thanksgiving is over, I’m panicked that Christmas is but a mere month away. Help.

  11. afrankangle says:

    I know I’m late, but hey – I was away for a few days. An Aussie posting jokes for we Americans. Many thanks … love the last one.

  12. “Thanks” for the laughs, Magsx2! It’s a tradition for my family to take turns at the Thanksgiving table telling jokes, but we didn’t do it this year! Wish I hadn’t been slacking in the blogging department and had seen this before the holiday! But now I have a (turkey) leg up on next year!


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