It’s My Birthday (Jokes Included)

I don’t know, but the years seem to be flying by. Each year seems to be getting shorter for some reason. πŸ™‚
My hair is turning grey rather quickly these days, but I don’t mind the old salt and pepper look, so far anyway, who knows how I will feel about it by next year.

I have waist length hair, so it would be a nightmare to whack a bit of colour into it. I hate to think how many bottles it would take. πŸ˜€
Today I am a year older.Β  I was born in Brisbane, which is the capitol of Queensland here in Australia, on February the 18th 1958, yep that makes me 54 (for those that are not good with maths) although if I don’t look in the mirror, I am a lot younger. πŸ˜†

Some friends are putting on a barbeque for me tonight, so fun times ahead. πŸ˜€

Sorry I haven’t got any new Birthday jokes up my sleeve; these have been around for awhile. If you have heard them before, I hope you still get a bit of a laugh out of them.

Fun Times.
A man asked his wife, β€œWhat would you most like for your birthday?”
She said, β€œI’d love to be ten again.”

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then they were off to a movie theatre where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, β€œWell, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, β€œActually, honey, I meant dress size!”


Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said that I needed an upgrade.


You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~ Bob Hope

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~ Jennifer Yane

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The Present

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

β€˜Oh, I don’t know,’ she said . β€˜Just give me something with diamonds.’

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

Music Box

Andrew went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Every kin and kith was invited over that night, to celebrate herΒ  birthday.

Andrew wanted something special for his wife, so he went to see some cute little music boxes.

A blue one was playing “Happy Birthday.” Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.

Later, at dinner, among the huge gathering, he gave the gift to his wife and asked her to open it. When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to “The Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used To Be!”

This entry was posted in Australia, Jokes and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

111 Responses to It’s My Birthday (Jokes Included)

  1. Happy Birthday to you. Love the blog.

  2. Happy Birthday, Mags!!!
    You’re a year and a month younger than me and it’s nice to know someone with hair a bit longer than mine. πŸ™‚ I’m watching the gray come in a little bit, too. It’s got a different texture than my regular hair so who knows what it will be doing from one day to another.
    Hope you have a fantastically wonderful time at your birthday barbeque, full of love and laughter!!! *hugs*

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Barbara,
      Yes the good old grey does seem to have a bit of a different texture, but it also can look very nice on some people (I hope of one of those) πŸ˜€
      Thank You for the birthday wishes.

  3. El Guapo says:

    Happy birthday, Magsx2. And many more!

    And almost all the jokes were new to me.

  4. lolabees says:

    Wishing you a very Happy Birthday, Mags!

  5. Happy Birthday to you…Happy Birthday to you…Happy Birthday dear Mags…Happy Birthday to you!! You’re 4 months older than me…hah hah!!

  6. I wish you the happiest birthday, Mags! Your blog always brings a smile to my face. Thank you for that. Enjoy the weekend!

  7. happy, Happy, HAPPY birthday to YOU!

  8. malc50 says:

    Happy Birthday, Mags. Best wishes, not only for today, but also for the year ahead. Cheers, Mal.

  9. Purple Mouse says:

    I thought about telling you Happy Birthday tomorrow, since the 18th is tomorrow for me, but, then it would be yesterday for you, which is the past, and then it would be belated, so Happy Future Birthday. πŸ™‚

  10. Elyse says:

    Happy Happy Birthday, Mags. But not yet, because here it is only the 17th — so you are still a youngin’ in MY eyes!

  11. Happy Birthday Mags!!! I hope you have a very wonderful and unforgettable birthday!! May this year be the start of amazing days to come!!! And as I would say in Spanish, Feliz Cumpleanos!! Celebrate all night long! Enjoy Australia for me!
    P.S. Thank you for visiting my blog and for the nice comments πŸ™‚

  12. Margie says:

    Happy Birthday Mags! If it is any consolation, I am way older and have way more grey hairs than you do!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Margie,
      One of the great things about getting older, is the wisdom that comes with age. I know it’s an old saying but I am really starting to like some of these sayings that have been around for awhile. πŸ˜€
      Have a wonderful weekend.

  13. Windsmoke. says:

    You’re aging gracefully like me i’m 57 in may and i’ve had salt and pepper grey hair since my forties i think its got something to do with gentics that’s my excuse and i’m sticking to it. Happy Birthday :-).

  14. dearrosie says:

    Mags I send you a whole bunch of very Happy Birthday greetings.
    I came to my computer because I remembered it was your birthday – tomorrow for me, but today for you (I think you’re about 12 hours ahead of me) – and I was going to send you a private email but here you are celebrating with everyone, which is reeeeelly lovely.

    Wow waist length hair! When I shared the photos of women with waist length hair you didn’t own up. I’m older than you πŸ™‚ I’ve also allowed my hair to turn gray. I’ve earned every one of those grey hairs and would never cover them.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi dearrosie,
      How very nice of you to remember, that is just fantastic. πŸ˜€
      Time differences can be confusing sometimes, especially for me. πŸ˜†
      Yes we certainly have earned our grey hair, I totally agree.
      You also have a wonderful weekend, especially wonderful because you will be celebrating as well.
      Happy Birthday for tomorrow.

  15. coolfeline says:

    Happy, happy birthday, Mags!!! Sounds good with a BBQ tonight [well, yesterday ;)]

    I’m three years older than you, I’ll turn 57 in August. When I was fourteen, I had waist-long hair. Cut it then, and never had the patience to get it long again … until NOW! For two years now, I’ve been letting it grow, and finally it’s long enough to be put up in a bun!

    Had not heard any of the jokes, so I got good laughs. Loved those quotes.. πŸ™‚

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi coolfeline,
      I had my hair cut once, that was when I was 12, I swore it would not happen again. I had always had long hair, and then all of a sudden to have short hair, I just couldn’t handle it, I personally felt like a boy. πŸ˜†
      Now I just keep it trimmed so that it stays around the waist mark.
      I am so glad you hadn’t heard any of the jokes before, I was so hoping that some people had not heard them all. πŸ˜€
      Have a great weekend.

  16. Happy birthday, Magsx2! Best wishes for the day and year. I am almost as young as you at 51. Your jokes keep us young!

  17. Happy birthday. You are catching up to me.

  18. jmgoyder says:

    Happy birthday!!! I am nearly the same age as you but I thought we were much younger – hehe!

  19. I hope your birthday is happyx2! Enjoy!

  20. Happy Birthday Mags! You’re a spring chicken compared to me. I didn’t know most of the jokes and quotes and had a good chuckle. I’ve found a few more quotes (my present to you):

    “I refuse to admit that I am more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.” (Nancy Astor – attribution)

    “I was born in 1962. True. And the room next to me was 1963…” (Joan Rivers, ‘An Audience with Joan Rivers’, London Weekend Television, 1984)

    “One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell you that, would tell you anything.” (Oscar Wilde, ‘A Woman of No Importance’, 1893)

    “Thirty-five is a very attractive age, London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.” (Oscar Wilde, ‘The Importance of being Earnest’, 1895)

  21. tempo says:

    Hi Mags and a happy, happy birthday to you on your special day.

  22. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And Many More :)/Users/peggyfranz/Desktop/birthday-2.gif

  23. Red Nomad OZ says:

    Happy birthday! Have a blast at your celebration, and I hope you NEVER get combination Valentine’s Day and birthday presents …

    If it’s any consolation, I don’t know what you look like but because of your sense of fun, I never imagined that you a) were 54 and b) had greying hair! The joys of the world wide web, huh?!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Red Nomad OZ,
      I must say that I have never had Valentines Day and Birthday presents combined, I have been lucky. πŸ˜€
      Yes, I’m an “old girl” but I still like to have fun. πŸ˜†
      Have a great weekend.

  24. travelrat says:

    Happy Birthday, Mags!

    And remember:

    Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional! πŸ˜€

  25. Arindam says:

    Many many happy returns of the day Mags. πŸ™‚
    You always spread smiles through your blog. I wish lots of happiness, laughter & peace in your life . Keep smiling. Best wishes to you. πŸ™‚

  26. aFrankAngle says:

    What a nice Saturday morning (for me) surprise to see – Happy Birthday Mags!!! An Aquarian!!!! … and isn’t this the last day of the one bearing water? Meanwhile, the birthday quotes my fav.

    Here’s a present for you – yep – a past post dedicated to 54!

    I realize your day is almost over, so I hope you had a great one!

  27. Lenore Diane says:

    Mags! Happiest birthday wishes to you, my blogging friend. I hope the ‘Barby’ with friends was full of good food, fun and laughter. May this next year pass a little more slowly, giving you a chance to drink and savor the wonderful moments that make a year.

    Best wishes to you to day and every day. Hugs to you.
    – Lenore

  28. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Happy Birthday, to you, mags. I’m glad that you’re not fighting back growing older. Let your long, beautiful locks wave in the breeze!

  29. Looks like I am the last one to wish you Happy Birthday but it’s no less enthusiastically. What a treat to visit your blog every day, get to know your readers, and today, get to know more about you. Many happy returns!

  30. BoJo Photo says:

    A very happy birthday! My grandfather lived to be 93 and was always healthy and he never kept up with his age. A policy that I follow sometimes to my detriment! πŸ™‚

    Love the joke about dress size! πŸ™‚

  31. gitwizard says:

    Best Wishes for your Birthday Mags, i’ll be 2 years older in 3 weeks time.
    Love the diamonds joke.

  32. How wonderful! Please have another slice for me! I wish I were there — HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGS

  33. gregoryno6 says:

    Happy Birthday, mags. And might I just say that with waist length hair you’d make a very enticing Lady Godiva.
    Do it for the boys.

  34. cissyblue says:

    Hi Mags, and many happy birthday wishes. I am a new devotee to your blog, and you are just three years younger than me… so if you ever want to know what’s in store in future… hehe ! Take care, have fun at your bbq, and always enjoy the moment! Wish I could be there! Love, Cissy in Texas

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi crissyblue,
      Thank You very much. I haven’t been on the computer for most of the day, as I had friends that came from a long distance to be with me for my Birthday, so I am sorry you had to wait so long for me to answer you. πŸ™‚
      Thank You very much for taking the time to comment.

  35. Happy birthday young whipper snapper
    When ya get to the age of me and me mate the Emu at 61
    Then ya got a few things to worry about
    Ian aka Emu

  36. Lynn says:

    Hey!! Happy birthday mags!! So you are in my line…I’ll be 47 in a couple of days.
    To be 54 it’s great if you have that kind of sense of humour.Keep being as you are!!

  37. munchow says:

    At little late, but still: Happy birthday!

  38. Cafe23 says:

    Happy belated birthday Mags!! Hope you’re enjoying this beautiful weekend with your loved ones πŸ™‚

  39. jakesprinter says:

    Happy Birthday my friend
    wishing you all the best and looking forward to lots more jokes. πŸ™‚

  40. Happy Birthday! I hope you had a great day surrounded by family and friends (and a whole lot of laughter)! πŸ™‚

  41. Doraz says:

    Sorry I am late wishing you a Happy Birthday. I am sure you had such happy moments. I wish you many more. πŸ™‚

  42. starlaschat says:

    I just put a call out for corney jokes on my blog. Ask and you shall receive, not that these Jokes are corney these are mighty fine jokes! Happy Birthday I think a little grey hair is a fine thing. Thats what I keep telling myself. I think of it as pretty Christmas tensile. Hope you had Fun day on your Birthday BBQ that sounds like fun friends and food can’t beat that.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi starlaschat,
      I like that “Pretty Christmas tensile” very nicely put.:)
      I had a great day Thank You, and you are right, you just can’t beat, friends and great food.
      Thank You for the wishes.

  43. Selma says:

    So sorry I missed your actual birthday, Mags. I hope you had a fantastic day. I love thinking of you with your beautiful waist-length hair. Thank you for such an informative and fun blog. There really is something for everyone here. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

  44. Hope you had a great birthday Mags! I enjoyed the jokes! Thanks for sharing!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s