Airplane/Politician (Weekend Jokes)

The Airplane

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.”

And every year Martha would say, “I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, “Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.”

Martha replied, “Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal, I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.”

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”

Stumpy replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”

Clever Anagrams.

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
****************
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
*************************
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
****************************
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT
******************************
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE
*****************************
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

The Politician

A politician is walking home late at night. As he turns the corner, he is stopped by a mugger who shouts, “Give me all your money!”. The politician replies, “Watch yourself, you don’t know who you’re talking to; I am an important politician”. The mugger says, “Oh sorry, give me all my money.”

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62 Responses to Airplane/Politician (Weekend Jokes)

  1. El Guapo says:

    The first was horrible.
    And very very funny.

    So were the rest.
    Thanks, Magsx2. I’ll be retelling these. Have a great weekend!

  2. Those anagrams were very clever! Poor Martha, but I guess she had it coming to her… 🙂 And the politician’s mugger is priceless!

  3. dearrosie says:

    I loved the anagrams Mags. Poor Martha!

  4. pixilated2 says:

    Groaning and laughing… can they be done simultaneously? LOL!

  5. Still laughing at the airplane joke — hysterical!

  6. Windsmoke. says:

    Poor Martha is only worth ten dollars very sad indeed, still it made me laugh big time :-).

  7. aFrankAngle says:

    Interesting anagrams … but love the airplane story the best! Have a good weekend Mags!

  8. elcampeador says:

    Here ya’ go Mags. 🙂

    The Airplane http://instantrimshot.com/

  9. coolfeline says:

    Thanks for the laughs, Mags 😆

    Loved the anagrams!

  10. malc50 says:

    🙂 Thanks Mags. Havagoodweekend, Cheers, Mal.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      I missed you during the week, don’t work too hard, and enjoy your weekend. 😀

      • malc50 says:

        University started back on Monday 20 February, Mags, and I’m flat out at the moment – even in at work all day yesterday (Saturday). Home today (Sunday), have mown the lawn this morning, and will take my grandson to soccer later this afternoon. Will catch up with your blog posts as time permits. Needed a smile and took time to read your Weekend Jokes yesterday! Cheers, Mal.

        • magsx2 says:

          I thought you must of been working too hard, it’s a bit much when you have to work on Saturdays as well, I hope you really have a lovely day today with your family. 🙂

  11. The anagrams are fantastic and so is the airplane joke. Happy weekend.

  12. Cafe23 says:

    Hahaha so clever! I love the election results’ scramble. So good!

  13. jakesprinter says:

    Great Entry Mags I really enjoy it 🙂

  14. tempo says:

    These are all good, I hadn’t heard any of them before..

  15. gregoryno6 says:

    That’s a good selection!

  16. Love those anagrams! We’ll have to dig out that “Election” one again next year.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Lady Marilyn,
      We have an election here in QLD next month, so we are getting hit already with spin. You really have to feel sorry for us in a way, because of what is happening Federally, and our State elections, it is non stop.
      A very good time to be reading blogs I feel. 😀

      • That’s right! So you do! Poor Anna Bligh is getting a bit frustrated with all the Federal nonesense. I believe that we are also having elections in the ACT in the latter part of this year. There’s been some nasty business going on in the Assembly – or rather, out of it.

        I second your remark about blogs. Hear! Hear! And all that!

  17. Red Nomad OZ says:

    The anagrams are my favourite – especially the election one!!! Hope you’ve recovered from your birthday and are having a great weekend!! Good luck dodging all the election hype …

  18. travelrat says:

    Being a great fan of cryptic crosswords, I love anagrams. Except …

    When people see my car for the first time, and point out ‘Renault’ is an anagram of ‘Neutral’. And, I’ll buy any brand of bottled water except Evian, because I got tired of people telling me it’s an anagram of ‘naive’ like they just spotted it!

  19. The Emu says:

    Thanks mate , enjoyed them all , particularly the politician one , with the muppet show of a government we have at the moment in Australia
    Emu aka Ian

  20. As the resident practical thinker, even if the pilot knew Martha fell out of the plane what could he have done about it? Nada. So I think he was smart to keep on flying.

    Ronnie

  21. You really know how to entertain us, Mags.

  22. Barb says:

    We need more political jokes about politicians falling out of planes. :0

  23. E.C. says:

    😆 Great Jokes. Those anagrams are cool. Thanks for another day of laughter. 🙂

  24. BoJo Photo says:

    Ten dollars is ten dollars! 🙂
    I loved the politician joke.

  25. souldipper says:

    Took me as much time to scoot down here as it did to read the jokes…you popular thing! Good on ya, Mags!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi souldipper,
      Thank You.
      I always find the scroll bar a lot quicker than the mouse wheel sometimes, I usually use the scroll bar on nearly every blog. 😀

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