Happy Easter 2012 (Jokes)

The Taxi Driver
One Easter a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

‘Come with me,’ said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

‘Oh my word, thank you,’ said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’

‘Yes, that’s true.’ St Peter rejoined, ‘But during your Easter sermons people slept.  When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’

  • You love Easter because you figure any Holiday that starts with a
    “Good Friday” can’t be all bad.
  • Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
    Because no one wants to quit.
  • You love Easter because chocolate has many preservatives, and preservatives make you look younger.
  • You love Easter because you have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
  • Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
    It has four rabbits’ feet

Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate is a health food.
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables.
And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

I Know
I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, “Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.”

Taking a deep breath, I asked him, “What is that?”

He replied, “They’re all nocturnal.”

Easter Date Trivia
Easter Sunday is set by the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20).  Here’s the interesting info.  2008 was the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier! Here’s the facts:

1) The next time Easter will be as early as March 23 will be the year 2228 (200+ years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (275+ years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than March 23rd 2008.

You may also like to see last years Easter Jokes:
Happy Easter (Jokes) 2011

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97 Responses to Happy Easter 2012 (Jokes)

  1. ~mimo~ says:

    funny 🙂 Happy Easter!

  2. Wow Mags! Who knew that we would never see Easter as early as it was in 2008? I love the jokes and the reasons to love chocolate – (like I need a reason.). Happy Easter!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi writingfeemail,
      Yes we will never see another early Easter. 🙂
      Always good to have a really good excuse for loving chocolate at anytime of the year. 😀
      Happy Easter.

  3. Have a Happy Easter!!

  4. Love the taxi driver! Have a wonderful Easter 🙂

  5. aFrankAngle says:

    Cheers to the taxi driver and the priest! Good bits on chocolate and Easter trivia too! Have a joyous Easter in OZ.

  6. Arindam says:

    Ha! 🙂
    Hi Mags,
    Really funny! 🙂 Happy Easter.

  7. Thanks Mags, Always get a chuckle out of your posts. Have a happy easter.

  8. BoJo Photo says:

    I’ve been known to be like the taxi driver! 🙂 Happy Easter buddy!!!! 🙂

  9. travelrat says:

    Not a joke, but one of my favourite stories:

    A Sikh gentleman waiting for a bus in Salisbury, with one of Michael Snell’s huge chocolate eggs under his arm. A rather nosy old lady said to him: ‘I thought you people didn’t observe Easter?’ He turned to her with the gentle smile that it seems only a Sikh can manage, and said:

    ‘We don’t! But, my grandchildren still like chocolate!’

  10. niasunset says:

    It was funny… Thank you dear Mags, Happy Easter, with my love, nia

  11. hotlyspiced says:

    What a fun post and with so many interesting facts! I never realised that Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were all nocturnal! Happy Easter xx

  12. Windsmoke. says:

    Bonza jokes, i especially like the Taxi Driver and the Chocolate Easter Eggs. Happy Easter to you and your family :-).

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Windsmoke,
      Glad you enjoyed them, the taxi driver seems to be the favourite today. 😀
      You and your family also have a Happy Easter.

  13. Yay! Love these!
    This one: “Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit.” reminds me of another . . . . Did you know that there’s now a patch for Chocoholics? You slap it on your arm, and when you finally discover it doesn’t work, you eat it!
    Happy Bunny Day, Mags!

  14. From our home to yours, Happy Easter Mags.

  15. malc50 says:

    Have a safe and happy Easter, Mags. Best Wishes, Mal.

  16. Have a wonderful weekend! Happy Easter, Mags!

  17. megtraveling says:

    I always knew chocolate was good for you! And Happy Easter, too.

  18. cestlavie22 says:

    Thanks for all the Easter fun 🙂 Great way to start the holiday weekend!

  19. zannyro says:

    I love the fun “healthy” facts about chocolate..I feel so much better! Happy Easter to you and yours 🙂

  20. El Guapo says:

    Funny funny stuff!
    An excellent start to the weekend, Magsx2.
    Hope you have a great one!

  21. tempo says:

    Have a great Easter Mags.

  22. Oh this was hilarious and loved the easter trivia
    wish you a happy easter 🙂

  23. Thanks for sharing your virtual Easter eggs with us! Very funny. Thanks also for devoting space to “creatures of the night” (Santa, the Tooth Fairy and E.Bunny) much appreciated by vampires everywhere.

  24. Pingback: Happy Easter – 2012 Jokes | oyiabrown

  25. blueberriejournal says:

    The taxi driver is really funny. Happy easter!
    Btw: Jopi Heester (dutch actor) was one of them who had the early easter twice. He was born 1903 and died last year in December. Lucky one.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi blueberriejournal,
      Glad to hear you enjoyed the jokes. 😀
      Happy Easter to you as well.
      Wow a great bit of trivia, he was a lucky one indeed, Thank You for that. 🙂

  26. jakesprinter says:

    Great Easter Laugh Mags ,Happy weekend to you 🙂

  27. sporepigfish says:

    Happy Easter! Enjoyed reading as usual 😀

  28. elcampeador says:

    Reblogged this on et cetera* and commented:
    Mags at her finest..

  29. elcampeador says:

    Happy Easter, Mags.

  30. Elyse says:

    I have a house full of kids and they will LOVE these! Thanks Mags, and Happy Easter!

  31. mj monaghan says:

    Mags, wow, on the earliest Easter dates. That’s incredible. How mortal we are, eh? Great, fun post.

  32. Randel says:

    What a fun post. Thank you. I like your site. I have been sharing the jokes with someone in hospice who just loves the new material. Keep up the nice work. And Happy Easter!!

  33. munchow says:

    Great jokes. And I do love Easter for all the reasons you mentioned. 🙂 I thought Easter was early in 2008 but it’s good to get it all in perspective. Happy Easter to you, too!

  34. Doraz says:

    lol Happy Easter to you all. 🙂

  35. Loved these, Mags. Like I needed another reason to eat chocolate though! I hope you and your family have a Happy Easter.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi She’s a Maineiac,
      Just think you now have scientific proof chocolate should definitely be eaten. 😀
      Happy Easter to you and your family as well, enjoy.

  36. Linda Vernon says:

    They’re both nocturnal! Ha! You come up with the best jokes, Mags!

  37. fiztrainer says:

    I love it when anyone can make me laugh so, I just loving coming over here. There’s always something to make me smile. Plus the post about Easter was very interesting. I didn’t know that. Thanks for bringing the cheer and have a really great Easter. 😀

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi fiztainer,
      Thank You very much, I love it that you had a bit of a laugh. 😀
      A very Happy Easter to you as well, enjoy the weekend.

  38. Barb says:

    How can you joke about Chocolate? This is serious business. Have a great Easter gnawing the ears off your choco-bunny.

  39. E.C. says:

    Great jokes and fun trivia. Thanks so much for the Easter giggles. 😆
    Happy Easter! 🙂

  40. Selma says:

    Hope you had a FANTASTIC Easter, Mags. And I agree – chocolate IS a health food. At least that’s what I tell myself. And this is very true – “Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
    Because no one wants to quit. ” LOL. 😆 😆 😆

  41. dearrosie says:

    Wow Mags congratulations on all these comments!
    I always enjoy your jokes. Hope you had a happy easter.

  42. Fergiemoto says:

    Interesting bit of Easter trivia. Also, thanks for the laughs again.

  43. I love that post – what a great mixture – fun and jokes mixed with facts. I am reading it later than Easter but could have done with it then. Easter in England was damp and gloomy.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi loonyliterature,
      What a shame you had terrible weather for Easter. It usually rains here at Easter, I know some other parts of OZ it wasn’t good weather, but here in Queensland the weather was glorious, and most headed out to the beach. Still I hope you enjoyed your Easter even though the weather was against you.

      • Thanks, yes it was nice. One of the things we did was watch the Tin Tin film. It is pure escapism, if you haven’t seen it yet. I am envious of your sunshine – I’m sure it’s an English thing. Funnily enough, when we had Australian visitors a couple of years ago, we were eating outside and put the dining table directly in the sun thinking that they would expect the sun. After a short while, we were asked to move it into the shade. They weren’t very keen on the sun. They are cousins actually and we met them through doing our family history – how great is that!

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