The Parrot And The Magician
A magician was working on a cruise ship. There was a different audience each week so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat”. “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table”. “Hey, why are all these cards the Ace of Spades?”
The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course!
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. this went on for a day and another and another. After about a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?”
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
- Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
- Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:
“Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.”
The parents of two boys (14 and 16 year-olds) went on a trip for the weekend with friends. They left early Friday morning and the boys were left alone at home.
That evening the younger boy made the suggestion that they take their dad’s car, pick up some girls and go to the local disco. The 16 year-old boy could drive a bit but was too scared. After some nagging he gave in and off they went to enjoy the evening.
When they got back to the car after a lot of discothequeing, they noticed a huge dent in the rear of the car – someone must have bumped into the car and drove off. Frantically they phoned their friends to find a panel-beater/spray-painter to fix their dad’s car.
Finally they found one who said they must have the car at his house early next morning. The car was fixed properly and they parked it back in the garage that afternoon.
Their parents returned the next day but the boys were too terrified to say anything about the accident. The father went to get something from the garage, came back very amazed and said to the family in the lounge, “A miracle has happened! A guy drove into the back of my car on Thursday and now it is fixed without a scratch!”