Fishing 2 (Weekend Jokes)

Priest Goes Fishing

An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn’t had a chance to get his beloved waders on and his favorite flies out of their box. Strangely though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work.

The weather forecast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon. The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognize him.

An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it.

With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon.

Confused the angel asked God, “Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson.
“God replied” I did. Who do you think he’s going to tell?”

One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a lace nightie.

“Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”

So, he tied her up and went fishing.

Pleasure is where you find it

Fishing rule 1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule 2: The worse your line is tangled, the better the fishing is around you.
Fishing rule 3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won’t make him truthful.

License

A man and his buddy were fishing when the game warden came up and said, “Okay guys let’s see your licenses.”

The man dropped his fishing pole and started running. the warden was in hot pursuit. After a quarter of a mile the man stopped and let the warden catch him. “Okay now I’ve got ya,” said the warden.

“Got me what?” said the man.

“Fishing without a license, ” said the warden.

 “Oh I have a fishing license.” said the man.
 
“Why did you run?” questioned the warden.

“It’s my buddy who didn’t have one.”

You may also like: Fishing 1 (Weekend Jokes)

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97 Responses to Fishing 2 (Weekend Jokes)

  1. El Guapo says:

    Love these!
    And I can attest to the 3 rules of fishing, from personal experience.

  2. Thanks for the smiles, Mags. Have a great weekend.

  3. Ohhhhh, “The Priest Goes Fishing” is my favorite!!!!

  4. Lenore Diane says:

    Have a ‘whale’ of good weekend, Mags.

  5. AgrippingLife says:

    Hahaha! Good ones. I especially love the first one – I always like it when God intervenes!

  6. Windsmoke. says:

    Bonza jokes, my favourite one this time round is the bloke who ties up his wife then goes fishing, classic one that🙂.

  7. You always kick the weekend off to a great start. Thanks Mags.

  8. A fabulously fine fishing festival, Mags. Have a great weekend.🙂

  9. jmgoyder says:

    Fantastic – love these weekend jokes!

  10. Like that Priest fishing one
    Always enjoy your jokes my friend
    Aussie Ian

  11. Great fun! Thanks, Mags.

  12. malc50 says:

    😀 Thanks Mags! Enjoy your weekend. Cheers, Mal.

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Mal,
      You also have a great weekend.🙂
      It is starting to get a cold here in Brissie, I was freezing this morning, I even had to put on a pair of gloves, ugg boots, you name it.😆

  13. malc50 says:

    Yes Mags. Our coldest May Day in 22 years yesterday in Townsville, and not much better today. I’ve got a long-sleeve flannelette shirt on.

  14. Great jokes as usual! I absolutely loved the first one! I hope you have a great weekend Mags!

  15. tempo says:

    Great jokes Mags, loved them all

  16. Linda Vernon says:

    Ha! I especially loved the first one! Yeah who is he going to tell! God got him! alright! 😀

  17. You’ve started off my weekend with a great ole laugh…thank you =D

  18. 🙂🙂🙂 super fun …all of them but that finding pleasure was definitly show stopper😆

  19. dfb says:

    Absolutely lovely, so funny!

  20. OyiaBrown says:

    Reblogged this on OyiaBrown and commented:
    It all sounds very fishy to me.

  21. Subhan Zein says:

    That’s hilarious!🙂

    Subhan Zein

  22. Yatin says:

    Thanks for brightening up the day with a dose of laughter🙂

  23. Another great weekend post to make our day go brighter. Thanks Mag. By the way my favorite fishing hat is embroidered, it says; “My fishing buddy ran away with my wife – – – and I miss him”

  24. reb says:

    Loved them all, but the one with the divine intervention in particular😀

  25. BoJo Photo says:

    The untellable fish story! 🙂

    Runner had quick thinking! 🙂

  26. These are so cute! Thanks for the laugh!

  27. jakesprinter says:

    Great Sunday morning for me Mags , I enjoy your Fish Story🙂

  28. Gilly Gee says:

    Awesomely funny Mags!

  29. Hotly Spiced says:

    Great jokes. Love the one about the priest. I always look forward to your ‘joke’ posts xx

  30. Indira says:

    Wow,the pleasure is where you find it, all are enjoyable, thanks.

  31. I found this post funny…my dad thought it was hilarious (he is an avid fisherman :P)

  32. Another successful bunch!
    Scott

  33. aFrankAngle says:

    Good batch Mags to end my 3-day weekend. Priest going fishing is my fav.🙂

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Frank,
      I’m glad you enjoyed the jokes.😀
      Sorry for the late reply, but I have not been well for the last week, and hoping to catch up with everyone next week.

  34. Selma says:

    Sorry I was so late getting to this Mags. I’ve had a flu-ey thing. Your jokes, as always, brighten my day!

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi Selma,
      I could only smile at your comment. I have not been in the blogosphere for about a week, and I am still not 100%, also a nasty cold, I’m hoping to catch up with everyone next week, take care.

  35. starlaschat says:

    Cute jokes! I have been lucky fishing because of being inexperienced. I think that probably is true. I have been pretty lucky over the years. :+)

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi starlaschat,
      Glad you liked the fishing jokes.😀
      I’m sorry for the late reply, but I have not been well that last week, but hoping to catch up to everyone next week.

  36. Arindam says:

    Hi Mags,
    As always thanks for the laughs.🙂

  37. I always love your joke posts – please keep them coming🙂

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi The Scumptious Pumpkin,
      Thank you very much.😀
      I am sorry about the late reply, but I have not been well for the last week, I will catch up with everyone hopefully next week.

  38. darkjade68 says:

    Thanks For Following The Dark Globe Mags, We’ve Missed you over there… It’s June Follower Appreciation Month over there

    DarkJade-

  39. mark says:

    The Dark Globe sent me here! You must check us out again very soon.😀

  40. E.C. says:

    😆 These are so funny. Gotta love the fishermen.😆

    • magsx2 says:

      Hi E.C.
      Glad you had a laugh.🙂
      Sorry I havn’t been around, I have been sick for the last week, but hoping to catch up with everyone next week.

  41. paigeaddams says:

    Hey there! The Dark Globe follower appreciation post sent me here, and I just wanted to say I really like your posts. Lol, I love these jokes.🙂

  42. Tony McGurk says:

    All funn but I really like the tie me up one. That’s a classic.

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