Happy Easter 2012 (Jokes)

The Taxi Driver
One Easter a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

‘Come with me,’ said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

‘Oh my word, thank you,’ said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’

‘Yes, that’s true.’ St Peter rejoined, ‘But during your Easter sermons people slept.  When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’

• You love Easter because you figure any Holiday that starts with a
  “Good Friday” can’t be all bad.
• Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
  Because no one wants to quit.
• You love Easter because chocolate has many preservatives, and preservatives make you look younger.
• You love Easter because you have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
• Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
  It has four rabbits’ feet

Chocolate Easter Eggs
Chocolate is a health food.
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables.
And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

I Know
I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, “Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.”

Taking a deep breath, I asked him, “What is that?”

He replied, “They’re all nocturnal.”

Easter Date Trivia
Easter Sunday is set by the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20).  Here’s the interesting info.  2008 was the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier! Here’s the facts:

1) The next time Easter will be as early as March 23 will be the year 2228 (200+ years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (275+ years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than March 23rd 2008.

You may also like to see last years Easter Jokes:
Happy Easter (Jokes) 2011